The Debt Dance

There have been two things I have been told about sex that I have always remembered. They have stood the test of time.

The first was from my eighth grade sex ed teacher. Now you must have an idea of what this late-fifties-early-sixties woman was like. She had blue hair, lace collars, and orthopedic shoes. Her glasses were always perched properly on her nose where they dared not move.

When we walked into her class for the dreaded “talk” she had one very large sentence on the chalkboard:

Sex Is Communication.

We all know that being in debt is horrible. It may not seem horrible until reality hits you like seltzer down your pants, but, at some point, it becomes hell.

This hell translates into everything we do, especially our most important relationships. We point fingers as to who is responsible for the mess (when in reality both parties are always, to some degree, responsible for the end result.) Stress makes us angry. We’re angry at the rain, at the neighbor mowing his lawn, at the cat for…breathing too loud. We’re just angry.

And many times we feel physically ill: headaches, stomach aches, insomnia, general aches and pains…

Add all of that up and sex probably isn’t even near the top of our list of things to think about or seriously consider (actually it may be but we’re just suppressing it–substituting other “comforters” like alcohol and overeating.)

But sex should probably be put way up on top of how to get out of debt.
In intimacy we communicate so much to each other:
♦We are a team, a unique pair
♦We are stronger together–”us against the world,” “together we can handle anything”
♦Life is still full of hope.
♦Life, love… our relationship is the ultimate priority.

The second thing I was told about sex is that sex is play. Let’s face it if there was a theme park with a Screaming Orgasm ride adults would be climbing the fences to get in.

Sex is sensuous, involving all of our senses. It really is very child-like when you compare it to a two year old smearing spaghetti or peas over his entire body. It feels good. Sometimes its teasing and silly.

Once again, when we’re being threatened over and over by bill collectors, or we’re trying to decide to file bankruptcy or not we don’t think much about play. Or sex.

But what a stress reliever it is! Release of physical tension, endorphin party…and when we are less stressed, more satisfied on an emotional and physical level, we can think more clearly, and–and this is really important–we see more opportunity than disaster.

Look at it this way. If you were home alone with your sweetie and you just found out the world was going to end in an hour would you rather,
A. Balance your checkbook, or
B. Have the most I-can’t-breathe, spaghetti-smearenist, total mind-body-soul sex of your life?

Yup, I thought so.

NOW HERE’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FUNNIES!
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth
was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying
only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to
“clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in
the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and
said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to
ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the
bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Face Your Dreams, Embrace Your Loves